It’s crazy to think that Logan is over six weeks old and I’ve yet to share the story here about his birth, as well as anything about him since birth. Honestly, time has been a factor (imagine that with a new born), but I think my hesitancy has been even more driven by not sure how to share the story of the emotional change that happens from within when becoming a father. It’s hit me though over the past week that the emotional and spiritual changes that take place as you enter fatherhood are not something that can just be shared at once, but something people will see, hear, and read about over time, so I am just going to focus on the story and hopefully get that out here.
The Birth:
Thursday was like any other Thursday. CG an I went to work like normal, came home and then went out to do a final run to Babies R’Us. It was a 3-day weekend coming up, and we were planning on spending it doing the final preparations for his arrival. We were ready, but there was a handful things that we were hoping to get done. Nothing about Thursday showed any signs of an early arrival, in fact nothing in the pregnancy hinted that he might come early. At the start of week 37, which was the Sunday before, CG even hinted at be willing to go all the way to 41 weeks, just to have something to celebrate in May since April was full of things to celebrate already. I myself was ready for him to come at any point, and apparently Logan was too.
For those who aren’t aware of this simple truth, here’s some knowledge for you: pregnant women pee a lot! And so Thursday night CG got up an went pee in the middle of the night like normal. Most of the time, I had no clue she had even gotten up. But at 4am as she started to go, she quickly realized she couldn’t stop. She woke me up a few minutes later, explained the situation, and asked my opinion. It didn’t instantly sound like her water had broke, but it wasn’t normal either. After consulting our book from class, we made the decision to pack our hospital bag (which was one the few things unfinished), and go on down there. Worst case, we come home and sleep as it was a day off anyway.
We made it to the hospital by 5:15/5:20, got checked in, and went to triage where they did an initial exam to see if we were indeed in labor. At 5:45 it was confirmed that CG’s water had broke, and that we weren’t leaving. We prayed, calling the soon-to-be grandparents, while waiting for a room. The full-moon from the night before made the labor & delivery wing a hoping place. It took us three hours to get a room.
Once we were moved they started us on a drug to induce contractions because up to that point there were none. As the contractions began to get heavier, they could see our baby’s heart rate decline for a minute, before stabilizing again. This happened numerous times, and the nurses and doctors both started to talk about a C-Section. We secured a second opinion for her OB, and at 1:15 we went in for surgery.
The surgery went well except for a small cut to the right side of his head where he was nicked from where he started into the canal while in natural labor. He received his first stitch in the first minute of life outside the womb.
The Baby:
At 1:48 on 4/10 he was born! Logan James – 5lbs, 6oz – 19 1/4 inches long. Healthy and Strong, with blue eyes like me. He had some great lungs, full head of hair, and was very alert. We took our first family portrait right there in the OR. I’ll never forget the first time I held him. He was (and still is) tiny, yet probably the biggest thing to ever be handed to me. His first cry was an amazing moment where I suddenly felt the role of father was given to me.
CG had to go into recovery for a few hours, and I went with Logan to the nursery to watch him go through a full exam. It was during that time that I began to feel the change taking place. I wanted to be in two places at once – with Logan as he was get acclimated to the world, and with CG as she was dealing with recovering from the surgery. I went back and forth between the two multiple times. (It’s an amazing tug on you heart, being an husband and father – something I still feel today, and will probably feel forever.)
We spent the next three nights at the hospital. My wife recovered quickly, and Logan was healthy and eating well. He lost a little weight, which is normal, but by Monday morning we were just awaiting the discharge papers. We came home as a family for that first time, and it was amazing – and that hasn’t changed.
We’ve been overwhelmed – at parenthood, at the lack of sleep, at the number of feedings, but most importantly – the greatness of the Lord, and the gift he’s given to us. Logan is our son to raise in the likeness of Him…that’s our desire.
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